Peer Review
Peer Review of Jhana Prue’s essay
Jhana Prue – English Essay Very rough draft #1 – Google Docs
This was one of my first peer reviews in the class and I believe this was my most influential. Peer review allowed me to look at my own writing as a bystander. After this peer review I started to adjust how I review my own essays. Not only was this new viewpoint of my own essays very important, I also believe I made multiple good annotations that helped Jhana to create a better essay. In this essay I focused less on correcting slight grammar mistakes and took more time asking questions about parts of her essay or stating when a point she made was very interesting and should be talked about more. This gave her more direction and allowed for her essay to be even better as well as giving myself more direction for reviewing my own essays.
- (In regards to her Intoduction) “I know that in your conclusion you end up saying that you are in the middle but I think you should still put a thesis statement. I think it would easier to pick a side but if you genuinely can’t you should still state your thesis.”
- “I really like what you are saying here and I think you should go into more depth”
- “End Comment: I really enjoyed reading your rough draft. I love the ideas and concepts you are going for I just think you should commit to a thesis and could use a little bit more of the texts to support it and you will have a fantastic paper! :)”
More examples of my quotations:
- “I like the definition of empathy to start your essay”
- “I like this quote a lot but if you could break it up a little and fit it into your own sentences I think it would be much better than just a long quote.”
- “^^^A personal experience would be great here”
- “Maybe a personal experience could fit in here instead if you have one, how performing these actions furthered you in some way.”
- “I like this and I get what you are saying but I think you could be more concise”
- “I think you should give Bloom a little bit of background, a simple sentence explaining who he is.”
- “I think you should go on about this some more, make sure you are disproving your naysayer point of view so it solidifies your thesis.”
- “Really good conclusion! I really liked your essay! I think you have done a great job, the only complaints I have is that I think you should add some personal experience(s) and some of your quotes are a little long but they are great quotes, so I would say try to be a little more concise on the quotes and fit them into your sentences. Great job!”
- “I agree with what you are saying but is this your thesis? I think a more concise thesis will give the reader a clearer idea of the point you are trying to make.”
- “I think you did a really good job on your essay! I would love to see a little bit more of your own personal experiences just to solidify your points through what you have seen or experienced first hand. Great job!”
Example of one of my rough drafts(rough draft #1). The final essay can be found under the “Significant Writing Project” tab and is the first essay.
